Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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