i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
