is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize