Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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