Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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