it was like his penis was on wheels.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
two words: eviction party
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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