"it" just moved
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
