we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
