I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
