DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
