I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
