just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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