WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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