it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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