...so i touched it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
