i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
