And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
