I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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