I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
