whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
