A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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