By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize