Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
