Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
