Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize