there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Green mimosas i think yes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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