Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize