i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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