so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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