I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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