haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Damn victory sex feels great
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
