so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
