Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
