Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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