After last night, I could never be a politician.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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