no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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