You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
