I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize