my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
