Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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