These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
