Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
