I heard we made out
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
