Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
