It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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