it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
