my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
