WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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