i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
