Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
