He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
