his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize