Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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