all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
