the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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