So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
