My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
