Moan for me like Helen Keller
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
