I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
