My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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