She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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