sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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