It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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