Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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