The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
