the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
