his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
