i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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