Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
