K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
